Avalanche

 This time 2 weeks ago I was preparing for Avalanche.  I was super excited for a weekend with my Jcrew girls.  Never in a million years could I have prepared for just how awesome the weekend could be.
There was plenty of snow on the ground as I loaded my car and headed to LCBC for the fun to begin.  I had a TON of stuff  because I was prepared for playing in snow and staying warm which included sleeping in a "cabin".  That stuff takes up lots of space!  Plus, I may have gone a little over board with food for my cabin.  What can I say… I was excited and was using my experience of less than stellar camp food to guide the amount of food to take.  Everyone arrived, we loaded the bus and were off.
2 hours on a bus lead to some interesting conversations… including one that offered guidance to the girls for their future.  Can I just say that the student ministries pastor at LCBC York gave some great advice to the kids about determining their future.  I wish I had had someone to provide the same perspective to me at their age.  Pretty much he said to find something you enjoy doing and pursue it.  Don't worry if it means not taking the "traditional" college route- just make smart decisions/don't be a bum.  And if college is your chosen path- check out options so that you don't come out with mounds of debt.  He was loving the kids for who they are/want to be and not for what society says they need to be.

When we arrived at Northbay (the place we were staying) we unpacked and headed to dinner.  All the girls crammed at one table and we had some of the best dinner conversation fueled by excitement for the weekend.  Dinner finished and the weekend kicked into full gear.
Friday night included a teaching session and free time.  After lights out the girls giggled and eventually nodded off to sleep.  I finally understand what parents mean when they say they never sleep the same!  I woke up in the middle of the night to a "sleep talker" who then turned into a "sleep walker."  I wish I had thought to grab my phone and record it because it was priceless!

Saturday was our crazy busy day.  Leaders started WAY TOO EARLY with a leader meeting. (Remember I do not like mornings!)  By the time breakfast rolled around I finally started to appreciate the day.  Our post breakfast activity was a photo scavenger hunt.

We made a human pyramid with some other girls.  Played leap frog in the snow. Squeezed a speed round of duck, duck, goose in inside our cabin.  Danced to LCBC Style at the bay.  Made a mini snowman.  And so much more.  Sadly, the guys from York beat us.  

We had some more teaching and then an afternoon of free time.  (This is where all my cold gear was useful.)  I piled on the layers, shared some of my extra gloves and such with some not as prepared girls, and headed out for an afternoon in the snow- aka crossing things off the bucket list. 

I went zip lining. (There is photographic evidence but the quality isn't super.)

Then the wait began for the 3 person swing.  This thing is like a ride at Hershey Park mixed with riding the Zip line.  You are harnessed in, wearing helmets… and well- just watch the video.

The person on the end has to "chop" a blue cord to release the swing… I give you the moment after the chop:

We warmed up,  and headed to the most awesome dinner ever!!!  We had pizza by disco ball.  A "DJ" (aka leader) provided us a rockin' good time.  The band got things going on stage by "dancing" to Crank it Like a Chainsaw- complete with "rap solo".  This opened the door for the YMCA, a conga line, Cotton Eyed Joe line dance, Katy Perry and Taylor swift sing along and a bunch of other craziness.  It was inspiring to watch the kids drop their guard as they danced and sang along without a care in the world as to who was watching them.  This was one of those times that you just had to be there to completely grasp how awesome it was!!!

After dinner was a teaching session.  That wrapped up with cabin time followed by a dodgeball game or movie.  Several of my girls decided to participate in the "open" league for dodgeball- aka they were the only co-ed team playing against teams of all boys.  

Another night of talking and giggles- that ended much earlier.  There are no fun stories to tell of sleep walkers.  We got to sleep in and when we got back from the leader meeting- the girls had packed up and cleaned the cabin.  I was impressed!!!  Off to brunch and our last teaching session before heading home.  

Let me dig in to a few things for you.

1- THE FOOD WAS AWESOME!!!  And high school students served us as every meal.  The girls were really impressed that the older kids cared about them enough to give up a weekend to serve them.  

2- Worship time before each teaching session ROCKED.  Jcrew at LCBC York doesn't have a band yet- so it was a new experience to see middle schoolers worship.  They get into it!  My girls were thrilled to sing Manifesto.  And The song of the weekend was The Rock Won't Move.  

Credit for this photo belongs to the LCBC Instagram peeps.

3- The teaching was impressive.  "The Amish Man" taught- He used to be Amish, now he is the student ministries pastor at LCBC Ephrata.  The focus was on reading the bible.  It was presented in the  most down to earth, practical way I've ever heard.  They used a version of the Bible called the message.  It was not a version I had encountered before- but will be purchasing as it is super easy to understand and apply.  I made note of a few things throughout the teaching:

• The Bible is a love letter from God.  If someone wrote you a letter you would read it.  God gave us the Bible as his love letter to us- we need to read it.  You will read what is important to you- if God matters to you- you will find time to read the Bible.  (Amish Man shared that sometimes you will forget and that's ok- just don't always forget.)
• Reading the Bible takes baby steps.  We learned of the process Kevin Durant uses called SOAP: Scripture (read it), Observe (think about what is being said), Apply (how should I use this in my life) and Pray.  Reading the bible is something we tend to over think- if you follow these baby steps it will be easier to understand and apply to your life.  
• Christianity is the only religion that is based on a Relationship first- a relationship with God.  All other religions are based on Rules.  
• The Bible was meant for you!  The Bible gives you hope- knowing you are never alone even if your circumstances don't change.  (I see this as going hand in hand with sometimes God says no. You might be in a situation you wish were different, you can pray that it changes, but even if it doesn't God is still there and still Loves you!

4- My cabin of girls were AMAZING.  The insight they had during our life group time in the cabin was pretty deep.  We didn't have a lot of digging deep, emotional time… but they provided deep thoughts that I couldn't even imagine thinking at their age.  My favorite quote of the weekend came from life group time.  Every imperfection we see is perfection in God's eyes.   Wow- like I said deep.  I know they won't remember this every second of every day- but the fact that they were able to even think this and share was incredible.  

5- I Love that I can be a part of a church that Loves their middle school students!  Too often middle school gets "missed".  There is a great structured program for the younger kids, and high school has lots of fun events, but middle school kinds gets lost in the shuffle.  Instead of allowing them to get lost- they single them out by providing a great experience like this- where they bring in other students to shower them with love and blessings.

6- Our teaching times started off with a crazy game. ALWAYS.  These games involved ball pit balls, donuts on a fishing rod and chocolate milk in a funnel,  whipped cream pies, finding random objects and other ridiculousness.  Just a fun way to get kids excited for some awesome worship and open their hearts for God to work.  

Truth be told now that the weekend is over… I think it's possible that the experience taught me just as much as it did for the girls.  I went with the intention of making some girls feel loved.  Instead they did that for me.  I wanted to do some blessing of others and left more blessed than I could have imagined.  

When we arrived back at LCBC, I had planned on staying for the 4:30 Jcrew session and the 6:15 gathering… yea about that… it didn't happen.  I came home and CRASHED.  (So much so that I also missed the chance to visit Matt at work.)  I was exhausted.  It was an awesome weekend that left me with a full heart.

I can not wait to do it all again at Shock Wave this summer!!!

Here are links to videos LCBC made throughout the weekend- they truly show the extent of a crazy awesome weekend!

Friday Night

Saturday

Sunday

Check out #Lcbcavalanche14 for additional pictures!

P.S. Special shout outs to my awesome neighbor and Lauren for checking in on Clara while Matt worked.  And an extra special thank you to my hubby for funding my trip and encouraging me to follow my heart as I serve with Jcrew.  Not to mention sacrificing a weekend of time together.  

I had it all wrong

Last week I talked about what kind of leader I wanted to be as I prepared for the Jcrew winter retreat... Which by the way Avalanche was awesome and will be getting its own post in the very near future!  

It's been a whirlwind of a week around our house.  I returned from avalanche, caught up on sleep, we had Clara spayed and her pearly whites got a cleaning, I've been on dog care duty (we managed to survive without a cone!), I worked a bit, Matt worked a lot, and then good things happened. ( more on that at a later date- no it's not a pregnancy announcement.)

This week is the wind down from the "high" of avalanche.  

You see- I'm not so convinced that the weekend was 100% for the kids.  I sure took a lot out of it!  

I've been following the #lcbcavalanche14 feed and today I saw a picture on Instagram from a leader who took some time to journal about the experience.  

(Insert a wave a guilt for not being as awesome about that.). The comment under the picture mirrored my thoughts about it not being all for the kids.  I didn't think much of it at the time...

But now... It's 12:45am... I teach in the morning... And my mind is alive...

I thought about my recent post... Thought about what my avalanche post would say... Started to evaluate what kind of leader I was... And then it hit me... The big 'ole smack upside the head that God has to give me once in a while...

I was so focused on what type of leader I wanted to be... I never stopped to listen to what type of a leader God wanted me to be.  Sure I prayed that God would make me a good leader.  That I would be a positive influence on the girls... What I should have been praying is for God to guide me to be the leader the girls needed me to be.  I should have been seeking God's guidance instead of making it into something I wanted.

And just to ensure that sleep would evade me for a good portion of the night... I realized that this should apply to ALL areas of my life.  To truly trust God, to really listen to Him- I need to be seeking his guidance in everything.  Not praying for or seeking what I want, but seeking God's will.   

Yea about that... Who needs sleep?!?

I am happy to say that I don't think I completely dropped the ball on being an awesome leader.  I think I did an all right job.  We had a lot of fun, I wasn't too mean or a wallflower, there were no lives to be saved... It was good.  If I had to grade myself: I'd have an average score.  Which means there's room for improvement... Because I want to be a great leader- and that will happen with some help from the man upstairs!  

What kind of leader am I?!?

My week has been full of snow and preparations for Avalanche.  Now I know that sounds like I'm preparing for a major snow emergency event- and in a way I am- but not really.  Avalanche is a weekend retreat for the 7th and 8th graders of LCBC's Jcrew.  With just shy of a foot of snow on the ground and temps well below freezing, I will be spending my upcoming weekend with kids who have stolen my heart.

When I signed up to be a Jcrew life group leader- I did it because I thought it would be a fun way to serve at LCBC.  I recalled my days in youth group and thought "yea I could be a kid again."  I figured it would be a good time... Never did I expect it to have the affect on me that it has.  I work with 7th and 8th grade girls.  I LOVE them!  Our mission in Jcrew is to demonstrate God's love to the kids,  tell and show them that God loves them, and make sure they know that they are Loved. (Period). 

Notice a connection to my blog name?  

It started off as fun.  Observing on Sunday mornings, getting to know some of the girls.  Then evening gatherings started and instead of observing- I was "running the show."  I hit the ground running!  Got to really begin to know the girls who regularly attend during "my gathering", helped out at the All-nighter, and had 2 different times that I got together with the girls outside of LCBC structured events.  It's been awesome!  I pray for my girls, check-in with them from time to time, and look forward to seeing them every week...

We started talking about winter retreats and I was all about going!  Retreats with youth group hold some of my greatest memories from the awkward middle school and high school years.  They played a vital role in keeping me out of trouble, strengthening friendships, helping me to grow as a person and at times allowing me to realize that I was important.  (I struggled with getting "lost" in my family because I was the "social" child.)

The closer avalanche gets- the more excited I get.  

Imagine how bad it's gotten since we got cabin assignments and additional leader info!!!

It hit me tonight... This is it... My first official chance to make a huge difference in these girl's lives.  

I started remembering the various youth leaders that were influential to me:

The "main pastor" who I'm pretty sure was just looking for a way to stay a kid- always wanting to have a good time.

The "camp mom" who was a camp counselor almost every year, loved us all but would disappear from regular events.

The "mean leaders" who insisted we follow every rule and then some.

The "life saver" who literally saved my life white water rafting and always had a way of making you feel like you mattered.

The "other youth pastor" who also wanted to be a kid but who also spoke the harsh realities and truths.

The "wallflowers" who I know were there but I couldn't even tell you who they were- they just stood by and filled in as needed.

** disclaimer both youth pastors mentioned above did a great job of sharing the word of God.  And both were parents of my friends.  I created the list based on what stood out first when I thought of these people.**

I realized now was my chance to create a name for myself... How did I want to be remembered?  

I thought about it- and got distracted thinking I should shoot a message to the life saver sometime letting them know the difference they made and continue to make in my life- once back on track I decided...

I want to be a combination of them all (excluding the wall flower and mean ones). 

I want to be the leader that is a big kid at heart, who makes everyone feel like they matter and are loved.  I want to be stable- consistently there.  Someone who the girls feel they can turn to when they need support, guidance or just a friend.  I want to be honest- I have not lived a "perfect Christian life"- I want them to be able to learn from mistakes I've made.  I want to be an example- not just say follow these rules but show how it's done and why it's better not to break them.  I want to help create memories that will last a life time.  

My goal for the weekend is to have an awesome time.  I hope I can meet my hopes for the type of leader I want to be... And if I fall short I hope the girls will see Gods love for them through me.  

Also- I'm really hoping for an opportunity to top what is quite possibly the greatest camp prank I have ever been a part of... Youth pastors choose your words wisely- when you tell us to leave the chairs alone... You just might find each chair all alone around camp!

For Starters.

This is all new... Blogging... Outwardly professing my faith in Jesus... Sharing my  story- in all if it's messiness- with the world.  But you've gotta start somewhere- this is my somewhere!

On Sunday I was baptized!  (My hubby and I shared our stories with our LCBC Church family, our real family and friends.  We wanted everyone to know where we stood in our faith.  I'll share more on that in the near future!)

As we left church- with soaking wet hair- Matt said to me, "I feel high!"  It was the perfect way to describe the intense happiness, excitement, completeness, fulfilledness (is that a word?!?) we were experiencing.  

3 days later- that feeling still lingers.  

Although one thing has been hanging over me... a concern I have for one of "my girls"(I'm a life group leader for 7th and 8th grade girls- they are my girls and they will be forever!)... She saw me get baptized and afterwards was very far from her normal bubbly self. I shared this concern with Matt before we left the church parking lot and spent a large part of the night trying to connect with her on any social media- I quickly learned that I NEED to get the contact info for these chicas... I sent messages to other leaders and together we are hunting her down. (It's not as horrible as it sounds.)

I'm hoping that my gut is wrong and she was just ready to hit the hay... But I'm thinking my story was too much. I've shared very little of the messiness of my life with my girls... Now that I've gotten to know them and have shared my story thru baptism that will change.  We will have a fun night- filled with sweet frog or cookie making- and I will show my scars... 

Now that they know that I'm me- I'll ice skate, eat pizza, try gaga ball, give hugs, share candy, laugh, sing way too loud and have a crazy good time... 

My past makes me who I am today- but it doesn't mean life stopped at the bad times.  (I hate "the look" and the awkwardness that happens when people hear my story!)

Before I tell them my story... Before I tell you... And what I am desperately searching this one girl down for... Is to say- before anything else...

When you hear my story- when I tell it- it is filled with great hurt and sadness... I WILL cry... Life is messy, and sometimes just flat out sucks- my life is no different... BUT while I cry with memories- I'm happy because I have HOPE!  I don't live IN that sadness- I live with it, I learn from it, and its a part if the person I am now.   My story is intense.  And it's no where near complete!  There is a very defining chapter.  BUT... The story continues with hope, happiness and LOVE.  

Hear my story... Cry with me... Understand that it's a part of me but not all if me... Celebrate the hope and happiness that is being discovered!  Know that I realize that although my mess is intense- I know you have problems that are consuming to you, just as mine were for me, and I will walk with you.  I will listen.  I will love. 

And after we've shared, cried, and smiled... We need to get back to the party of life- cause the best is yet to come!!!