the name

I've toyed with blogging for a while now... and had "started" a few under various names... I had an obsession with trying to get TJ's initials incorporated in the name- yet wanted to keep it open ended so that it wasn't a blog solely focused on my angel baby.  Each attempt ended with a "that's good" but lacked a "perfect" feeling and after sitting on the blog name for a day- I would realize it was definitely the wrong name for anything I wanted to write.

I started thinking about all the things I wanted to write about... and one word kept coming up... LOVE.

Enter the stickers that are floating around my house:

These awesome stickers were handed out to the great kids in Jcrew to remind them that no matter what- they are loved.  Loved(period) has been the theme- we love the kids as they are and want to walk with them as they grow into awesome adults.

As I looked at a loved. sticker I realized that it was the perfect name for a blog that had great stories of love to share.  I'm also bound to have some just flat out fun things to share and then of course randomness. (Those who know me well know I specialize in randomness from time to time.)

But for now- Loved. is my goal for life- how I want to live- to love people, love life period.

For Starters.

This is all new... Blogging... Outwardly professing my faith in Jesus... Sharing my  story- in all if it's messiness- with the world.  But you've gotta start somewhere- this is my somewhere!

On Sunday I was baptized!  (My hubby and I shared our stories with our LCBC Church family, our real family and friends.  We wanted everyone to know where we stood in our faith.  I'll share more on that in the near future!)

As we left church- with soaking wet hair- Matt said to me, "I feel high!"  It was the perfect way to describe the intense happiness, excitement, completeness, fulfilledness (is that a word?!?) we were experiencing.  

3 days later- that feeling still lingers.  

Although one thing has been hanging over me... a concern I have for one of "my girls"(I'm a life group leader for 7th and 8th grade girls- they are my girls and they will be forever!)... She saw me get baptized and afterwards was very far from her normal bubbly self. I shared this concern with Matt before we left the church parking lot and spent a large part of the night trying to connect with her on any social media- I quickly learned that I NEED to get the contact info for these chicas... I sent messages to other leaders and together we are hunting her down. (It's not as horrible as it sounds.)

I'm hoping that my gut is wrong and she was just ready to hit the hay... But I'm thinking my story was too much. I've shared very little of the messiness of my life with my girls... Now that I've gotten to know them and have shared my story thru baptism that will change.  We will have a fun night- filled with sweet frog or cookie making- and I will show my scars... 

Now that they know that I'm me- I'll ice skate, eat pizza, try gaga ball, give hugs, share candy, laugh, sing way too loud and have a crazy good time... 

My past makes me who I am today- but it doesn't mean life stopped at the bad times.  (I hate "the look" and the awkwardness that happens when people hear my story!)

Before I tell them my story... Before I tell you... And what I am desperately searching this one girl down for... Is to say- before anything else...

When you hear my story- when I tell it- it is filled with great hurt and sadness... I WILL cry... Life is messy, and sometimes just flat out sucks- my life is no different... BUT while I cry with memories- I'm happy because I have HOPE!  I don't live IN that sadness- I live with it, I learn from it, and its a part if the person I am now.   My story is intense.  And it's no where near complete!  There is a very defining chapter.  BUT... The story continues with hope, happiness and LOVE.  

Hear my story... Cry with me... Understand that it's a part of me but not all if me... Celebrate the hope and happiness that is being discovered!  Know that I realize that although my mess is intense- I know you have problems that are consuming to you, just as mine were for me, and I will walk with you.  I will listen.  I will love. 

And after we've shared, cried, and smiled... We need to get back to the party of life- cause the best is yet to come!!!