When Lightning Strikes Twice

I'll never forget the phone call I got from my Aunt several years ago.  The tears in her eyes were audible as she said, "lightning strikes twice" and proceeded to tell me unbelievable news that had happened now a second time in her family.  I remember thinking how crazy it was for it to have happened the first time and then hearing it happened again, to another member of the family- it was unreal, like lightning striking twice.

Lightning isn't supposed to strike twice.  It's supposed to hit once, possible devastate the area of the strike, and never hit there again…

In this house, lightning struck twice.

I had a cute blog post all ready to go to tell you all about how our roller coaster ride was successful and we were excitedly expecting!!! And then- with no warning- I heard the words no mother wants to hear, "I'm sorry, there is no heartbeat."  We joined the 1 in 4 pregnancies that end in loss for the second time. To say I was devastated is an understatement.  There are no words...
Lightning isn't supposed to strike twice- yet it didn't stop…  relationships have ended.  Comments that hurt more than I can ever describe have been "shared" with me.  Opportunities have changed because the loss of a baby is seen as a "problem" with a person.  Not a problem that needs attention to gain support, but a problem that needs to be isolated.

We were 10 weeks... Because of our "roller coaster ride" We knew for almost 7 weeks that our little monkey was growing- our dream if raising a child was going to be fulfilled.  Appointments were scheduled, plans were being made, named picked out... We weren't wasting a minute!  

December 16 changed it all in the blink of an eye.  

I am now mother to 2 angels. Broken, hurting, alone.