my ice bucket challenge

I got not 1 but 3 nominations for the latest "craze"… the ALS ice bucket challenge- done to raise funds for ALS.  Incase you have been living under a rock this is how it works… You get nominated by someone to either dump a bucket of ice water over your head or donate $100 to the ALS foundation and you have 24 hours to make that happen.  It's done great things for creating awareness of ALS, a life changing disease that affects roughly 1 in 50,000 people.  It's awesome to see how this has taken off… and it got me thinking…

1 in 4 pregnancies result in loss; miscarriage, still birth, infant loss (like we experienced with TJ).  1 in 4  that's 25% of pregnancies.  Before Tyler, I knew that the first 12 weeks of pregnancy were "in the danger zone".  Now I know that while the first 12 weeks carry the greatest chance for a miscarriage there is still a chance for something to "to wrong".  What BLOWS MY MIND is that NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT!  I read What to Expect When Your Expecting and it doesn't talk about all the OTHER things that can happen after the first trimester.  Society as a whole is silent about pregnancy and infant loss- yet it affects so many.  HOW?  WHY?  Yes it's a horribly sad topic.  But why are we not talking about it?  Why do grieving mothers get "the look" at the mere mention of a lost baby?  Why is it a taboo topic?  Why does Facebook feel that pictures of pre-term babies are unacceptable and are removed yet there is no issue with nearly nude photos, extremely suggestive photos, or any variety of other offensive pictures?  I could spend all day asking questions…

I want to help break the silence!  Lifetime started by airing a movie about stillbirth called Return to Zero.  There are many organizations that support pregnancy and infant loss, yet no one seems to know about them.  Have you heard of:
 Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep  They provide professional photographs of babies who have passed while in the hospital- free of charge. I treasure my pictures of TJ more than words can describe!
Sweet Pea Project  The offer comfort, support, and guidance to grieving parents AND send blankets to hospitals so that grieving parents can have something that "belongs to baby"
 or  Held Your Whole Life?  This organization provides hand stamped personalized necklaces (for mom) and key chains (for dad).  Having something with your child's name can be helpful in feeling like they are not forgotten.
Again- I could list these for days… different organizations that raise funds to prevent any number of pregnancy complications that can occur...

March of Dimes is probably the best known organization that speaks to pregnancy and infant loss but that's because they fund research and have developed procedures that save babies- they aren't as known for the support they offer to grieving parents.

Those are just a few of the MANY "unknown" organizations that exist to support the 1 in 4 who know the heartache of this type of loss.


Here's how we are going to break the silence… instead of dumping a bucket of ice on my head- I'm heading to the local blood bank to make a donation (as soon as I am eligible to donate again).  A bucket of cold water doesn't do anything to help someone else… a needle and a half hour of your time can save up to 3 lives!

I challenge you to break the silence of the 1 in 4!  Make a blood donation or donate to one of the organizations above.  (Be a superstar and donate to all 4!)

Know someone who has lost a baby- Ask her how she is really doing.  Speak baby's name.  Give her a hug and let her know you haven't forgotten.
I promise you it will make the day of a mother of an angel baby!